Screw Hybrids, Ford Figured It Out In 1957

Yes, it's the Ford Nucleon. Back when atomic energy promised the future, you could have had a reactor in your car. How about 5000 miles between fill-ups? The Nucleon laughs at your effeminate Prius. "I drive a Nucleon and I can kick your tree-huggin' ass."

The Atomic Automobile

I Knew I Had More MP3s After I Got Home From Work

It was my cat Keiko downloading all those MP3s. See, it happens:

Kitty porn: Florida man blames cat for illegal downloads

Dogs have been blamed for eating homework - now a Florida man says his cat downloaded child pornography.

Police are charging Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach, Florida with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after finding more than 1,000 images on his personal computer.

Griffin told police he had been downloading music, and that his cat jumped on the keyboard when he left the room. He said "strange things" appeared on the computer when he returned.

He is being held in Martin county jail on $250,000 bond. No word on any charges against the cat.

Story here

People That Can't Spell + People Clueless About Geography + GPS = Hilarity

From Chron:

ROME — Officials say a Swedish couple looking for the pristine waters of the popular island of Capri ended some 400 miles away in the northern industrial town of Carpi after misspelling the destination on their car's GPS.

Angelo Giovannini, a spokesman for the Carpi town hall, near Modena, said Tuesday the couple drove into the main square last week and asked the local tourist office how to reach Capri's famed Blue Grotto sea cave.

Giovannini said "we thought they might mean a restaurant. Capri is an island, they did not even wonder why they didn't cross any bridge or take any boat."

He said the couple, who were not identified, arrived from Venice and later set off to their planned destination at the other end of the Italian peninsula.

I liked the part where they didn't even wonder why they didn't cross a bridge or take a boat to get to an island. Couple of winners there.

If You Don't Like The Answer, Withhold The Statistics

I guess it was just found out that a report a few years ago once again confirmed that cell phone drivers are killing people and causing hundreds of thousands of accidents. Unfortunately, the Government apparently did not like the findings of the study and suppressed the statistics. The NHTSA didn't want to anger cell phone lobbyists, Congress, and voters who like to multitask while driving.

The highway safety researchers estimated that cellphone use by drivers caused around 955 fatalities and 240,000 accidents over all in 2002.

The researchers also shelved a draft letter they had prepared for Transportation Secretary Norman Y. Mineta to send, warning states that hands-free laws might not solve the problem.

That letter said that hands-free headsets did not eliminate the serious accident risk. The reason: a cellphone conversation itself, not just holding the phone, takes drivers’ focus off the road, studies showed.

The research mirrors other studies about the dangers of multitasking behind the wheel. Research shows that motorists talking on a phone are four times as likely to crash as other drivers, and are as likely to cause an accident as someone with a .08 blood alcohol content.

I say that if other people are allowed to jabber away on their phone and text to their friends then I should be able to have a few beers while driving on my commute home. Cell phone drivers all say that they can handle it. I can handle my beer. Not letting me do so is hypocritical.

Here's the story.

1 Out Of 4 Isn't Bad

Well at least "EXIT" is correct.

More from Wisconsin.

Helen Keller Simulator

I thought this was a fascinating look into what Helen Keller must have gone through. I always knew about her from stories and campy 70s made for TV shows but this site really shows you a lot.

Helen Keller Simulator page

Photoshopped Diversity

I found this cool posting at 11points.com. It shows the lengths that people will go to to show that they are "diverse". Even if they have to make it up. Of course, this points out the hypocrisy of most diversity programs. Most of these companies only see diversity in terms of race and skin color. In the case of these jokers in the post diversity means "having enough black people in the photo."

I'm sure I'm wrong but to me diversity means having a collection of people with diverse ideas and thoughts, not that 23% of every photo or group must have a person with a different skin color. Stupid me.

Here is the actual posting. It's pretty funny. He has a cool site.

The Wilhelm Scream

I first heard of this when reading a back issue of Wired. I knew I'd heard it before. We all have.

Pretend an alligator just bit off your arm. Now scream. That's what a voice actor did to overdub a shriek for the 1951 film Distant Drums. Little did he realize he was making cinematic history. Over the years, audio engineers have reused the so-called Wilhelm Scream in dozens of films, making the girlish screech a punch line in the industry. "It's an inside geek joke among sound designers," says Matthew Wood of Skywalker Sound — one that's shown up in everything from Star Wars to this year's Transformers.

Here's the article: http://www.wired.com/entertainment/hollywood/magazine/15-10/st_scream

It's amazing and kind of cool how many times Hollywood has used this. If I ever made a movie I'd definitely have it in there.

Mr. Giggles, good with kids, performs tricks

I fell asleep then this happened.

After my hiatus I had to post this...in case anyone at all hadn't seen it. Some 18 year old decided to go get a bunch of crap tattooed on her face. Apparently her dad didn't like it so she said SHE FELL ASLEEP and the tattoo artist decided to go batshit and tattoo 56 stars on her face...just to show her I guess.

Link to the story.

Here is the freakshow that did the work. Actually I don't blame him at all. He even offered to pay for half of the removal since she changed her mind.

Apparently no one believes her story and they think she got what she wanted...and deserved. Count me in.

They Need To Make Toys Like This Again

This would delight children and psychopathic killers all. It lifts the soul.

The Georgia Guidestones

I just read about these in Wired magazine. I had never heard of them before. It's a fascinating story. It's got astronomical features built in along with bizarre statements on how to live life in some kind of post-apocalyptic civilization. It was funded by some guy that no one except one person knows his identity for reasons unknown.

Here's the Wired article.

Here's the Wikipedia entry.

Of course, religious zealots and conspiracy theory morons now have vandalized it and call for its destruction. As usual, they can't get their small minds around the fact that anything that doesn't fall within their belief system shouldn't be destroyed. People the likes of Yoko Ono being in support of the Guidestones doesn't help either.

I guess the states are getting fed up...with the Fed

I sure hope this comes to pass. It looks like many western states are following Montana's lead. They are passing legislation that basically says that if interstate commerce isn't involved they aren't going to do anything that the federal government says unless it passes US Constitutional muster.

This is starting out in the guise of gun rights but it all really boils down to the 10th Amendment to the Constitution and state's rights. Montana, Texas, Utah, and Alaska have passed legislation or are in the middle of passing legislation that reasserts their sovereignty.

Man, I hope it works.

Part 1


Part 2


I love the comments from the Texas representative about HCR 50. "If the Federal Government or the Congress is going to mandate anything on the State of Texas that is not fully authorized by the U.S. Constitution, we're not going to do it."

Awesome.

It would be my honor...to be your new stepfather.

From the guys that brought you Dick In A Box. Happy Mother's Day.

Slap Chop Rap

This is great. Throw in some Vince (Slap Chop, ShamWow, Hooker arrest), some Electric Boogaloo, and a creative guy on YouTube and you have Gold, Jerry, Gold!

They Should Go Even Further

It looks like Oregon is getting on the bandwagon and about to ban hand held cellphone use while driving. House moves to ban driving cell phone users.

That doesn't go far enough. Now, everyone that knows me knows I absolutely hate the nanny state but phone-talking-while-driving morons are killing way too many people. I equate them with drunk drivers and they should be in jail. Years ago I said that the problem is easily solved by installing a device in your car that shuts down all cell phone service as soon as you turn on your ignition. If you need to talk on the phone that bad then you can pull into a parking lot, turn off your car, and then talk to someone about what to get for dinner.

We should ban all cell phone use while driving. I even already have the punishments ready to go.

1st offense: $1000 fine
2nd offense: 3 months in jail and loss of license for 1 year
3rd offense: 5 year prison term

Let's start treating this like drunk driving and get these morons off the road.

Cone Of Everything That Is Holy

This is the Bacone. It's literally a bacon cone with scrambled eggs, gravy, and a biscuit on top. It is the pinnacle of Man's civilization.

I want one.

Here's the story: BaconCamp

And here's how to make one yourself: Instructions

Earth Day was this week. Gaia worship gathers more brainwashed followers.

Well, Earth Day was on Wednesday and appropriate mega-coverage was blasted across all media outlets. Green Gaia religion is really taking over and with the brainwashing of kids at every level of public school to this eco-agenda will ensure that this pseudo-science will remain for years to come. I'm all for taking care of the Earth but not at the expense of using our natural resources to further our civilization.

Speaking of media coverage of this austere event, it seems that only the individual-first, Gaia-haters over at Fox News were poking fun at these saviors of the planet. After watching Glenn Beck on Wednesday he had some statements from the first Earth Day in 1970 that I thought were quite telling about the states of mind of these wackos. After a quick search on the interwebs I found many of them. These come from HERE.

“Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind.”
• George Wald, Harvard Biologist

If you don't like the answer don't ask the f'ing question.

Personally I couldn't give a crap about gay marriage but the righteous indignation over Carrie Prejean (Miss California's) answer to what she thought about gay marriage makes me want to vomit.

I guess the state directors for each state's contestants were also beside themselves with shock and horror that someone would have an opinion outside their own.

"While all of the state pageant directors were quick to greet their beauty queens after the live telecast, Moakler and Lewis did not go backstage, nor did they call Prejean to congratulate her on being first runner-up for Miss USA, after Prejean told a national TV audience that she was personally opposed to gay marriage." http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,517277,00.html

So I say that if you are that insecure in what you believe in don't ask someone else what they think. These dumbasses should have thought about that before they submitted the stupid question.